A Mild Dissertation on NOFX

How many bands have you been listening to since you were 12 and in my case 16 years later are still putting out albums that blow you away? For me, only one. NoFX. If you haven’t ever heard of them you are really doing yourself a disservice. Any person who likes punk, metal, rock, 80’s rock, or good music in general needs to give them a try. If you haven’t heard them before you are in for some work because there are at least 14 albums to listen to, including one single that is made up of an 18 minute rock masterpiece.

Lets just get onto my real feelings. When I was 12 I remember hanging out with my middle school friends, who were all skate boarders and bmx’ers , listening to “White Trash, Two Heebs, and a Bean”, “Punk in Drublic”, and “Heavy Petting Zoo” (The last of which I was not able to buy a shirt with the album cover because my dad said to me “The guy is screwing a sheep”. It still makes me laugh today when I think about that moment.) To this day I can still listen to these albums and appreciate the good music in them. As much as I love other bands from that time frame and I keep their albums in iTunes I don’t realy listen to them as often as NoFX. Now that I think about it, I don’t have the song “Drugs are Good” which made an appearance on the Howard Stern Show once.

This brings me to another point. NoFX has apparently tried to keep themselves off the radio all these years. At first with albums like “Maximum Rock and Roll” it was obvious why they weren’t played but the past decade any of their music could have easily made it to mtv (a network that used to play music). The song “Please Play this Song on the Radio” is a great example of how they feel. They are really Punk gods. You wouldn’t think this by looking at the them. Fat Mike the lead man looks like a chubby guy who’s named Mike. Melvin who is just as much of a guitar guru as greats Jake E. Lee, Paco DeLucia, Eric Clapton, and Carlos Santana (I chose those for the great “Shreds” videos that my brother showed me) has long hair and kinda looks like a white reggae fan. Just listen to “Bruce, Eddy, and Paul” to hear his soloing skills. El Jefe has become a pretty varied musician across their 14 albums playing things like trombone, xylophone, keyboard, and whatever else they throw at him. Lastly there is the Drummer, ???? I don’t really know his name, I’ll look it up. It’s Eric, which also may be Melvin’s first name. Who knows? I’m getting this all from a song on “Pump up the Valuum”. I think he’s been sober since the late 90’s I hope that’s still going on. But either way he kicks ass as well.

Speaking of being sober, Fat Mike is one person who is not. In the last album they released “Coaster” he really explores his faults with the song “I Am an Alcoholic” I know this is a dangerous disease but look at so many bands, artists, and even comedians who sobered up and immediately started to suck (Chandler from “Friends” ring any bells?) One of my other favorite bands Alkaline Trio did the same thing. Fat Mike refuses. When I saw them around 2006 (I can’t remember what year but I remember Marci and Dan were still in Wilmington and we went to visit Marci’s Dad in Myrtle Beach while he was on a golf vacation and he bought us all dinner. Marci’s dad ordered crab legs and I noticed how much her Uncle looks like Denzel Washington.) I digress… I then broke from the group and went to the show. When I saw them Fat Mike was so drunk I was kind of surprised that he remembered how to play all the songs. But he did so it was awesome! Either way, I don’t care if Fat Mike is sober or not (which I’m sure he appreciates) but I just hope he puts out a few more amazingly kick ass albums before he kicks the bucket.

Lets talk about that show. Even though I went alone I was greeted with a group of random people I knew from across North Carolina who I knew liked punk music. One person told me “Greg, I just talked to someone who saw them in Virginia Beach and they said that they opened with ‘The Decline’.” I was almost in shock before they even played. They were going to play an 18 minute masterpiece to open a show with. “Goddammit this is going to be awesome!” I thought.

You people who like bands like Grateful Dead and Phish don’t you fucking say that they play 18 minutes songs all the time during shows. I once walked out of a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert because they wouldn’t stop the damn jam session they had going on. I can solo for 18 minutes on the ukulele but it doesn’t mean that a bunch of people want to listen to it!

It was awesome though, everything that I wanted it to be. I am familiar with almost all there music (it’s hard to be because they have so much). Every song sounded like it did on the album but better because I was watching those guys do it right in front of me.

Here are some of my all time favorite songs. I’ll link some youtube videos because you should really hear them if you haven’t. Lets start with “Please Play this Song on the Radio” It’s not to short it’s not to long, make sure to listen to the end where they start cussing out the DJ, and where they change the word rhyme to rim so they can make a line not rhyme. They are pretty good at breaking some musical rules to make some riffs memorable and almost cringe worthy but in a good way.

Then there is “Stickin in my Eye” I still sing this song every time I get something in my eye.

Then there is “Soul Doubt” it is just an awesome song. Punk Rock.

Off of “War on Errorism” most of those songs are awesome but make sure you listen to “Separation of Church and Skate” An awesome social commentary on how adults are making Punk Rock to safe, I lived through this to, I remember “Christian Punk shows” I kinda wish I had been alive through the days of the Sex Pistols and Buzzcocks so I could really witness real Punk shows although I feel like the Casualties pulled it off in 2000 at the Caboose in Garner. Just listen to the song.

Then there is “Medio-Core” another one of there songs laying out the problem of bands writing a bunch of shitty music just to put it on an album to sell. It happens way to often.

“Idiots are Taking Over” is also good. The line “It’s not the right time to be sober, the idiots are taking over” Is one of my favorites.

The entire album “So Long and Thanks for all the Shoes” is awesome but listen to “Murder the Government” It lays out the future revolution that should probably happen in the U.S. one day in 46 seconds. He wants to “pull and shoot” NRA but I think we need to keep our right to bear arms so we can actually revolt. But that is a different blog post all together.

“See her Pee” it’s funny.

I’m gonna be honest, I really don’t listen to S&M Airlines or Ribbed to much so I can’t recommend what to listen to off of there so If you want comment and I’ll repost (a fencing term).

Ok now I need to choose a couple songs from “Punk in Drublic”. I remember when I first noticed that this was an anagram of “drunk in public”, oh how young and naïve I once was. This album is so good. This was the first one that I actually owned on cassette tape. I remember the little cardboard that the lyrics were printed on. Man that brings me back to the days of hanging out with Jason Long and Justin Martin. HA HA, I hope that they get to read this post (luckily with facebook there is a chance of that) ok here are a couple good ones. “The Brews”, “the Quass” (on the tape it was called “The Quassitworth” or something like that) and “Dying Degree”, “Punk Guy”, oh and how could I forget “Don’t Call me White”

On “Pump up the Valuum” “Dinosaurs will Die” outlines the fall of the modern music industry. They make some really good points in this. “Theme From a NoFX Album” is a good one too.

Maximum Rock and Roll is good only because you can really appreciate how a band can go from a bunch of young kids in a garage to what you hear today. Listen to it once and then do what you want.

On “Heavy Petting Zoo” the song “Philthy Phil Philantropist” is good. “August 8^th” is pretty amazing too, I just found out, that is the day of one of the nuclear bombs that we dropped on Japan. Big Up to them for rebuilding such a great country after we fucked them over so bad. But either way the whole album is good.

There newest album is “Coaster”. Listen to “We Called it America”, “Blasphemy (The Victimless Crime)”, “Eddie, Paul, and Bruce”, “My Orphan Year”, and “The Best god in Show”. The whole album is good but if you only want my favorites there they are.

They have gotten me through breakups, depression, anger, long road trips, happy times, sad times, normal times, hot afternoons on the beach, middle school, high school, college, peace corps, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and most of my life. I just want to formally thank you NoFX for doing this as I sit here with a bout of insomnia in my thatch house in Central America getting eaten my mosquitoes typing this in the dark. You have really gone above and beyond in the world of music. Every band could take a lesson from you. Keep up the good work.